Hearts

I was smitten by mine enemies
Loathed my own life
Cursed you
Willed my own way to hell
Just to be away from you

Your personality split
To have all the power
And say you love
Yet watched my agony
And my defeat
My head spun
My heart hardened
No place to hide my soul
My body awaits being hunted
As if no peace is all

Yet as if a page turned
The wind has blown favor my way
For not even all my efforts paid
But like a dream something changed
All around me is the fruit of my labor
mine enemies exposed
Their doom even I pity

And I am numb to my own worth
For fortune comes in its own time
Unburied from the grave
Here comes the sun
Is it that the season is over
or is there no end to darkness in this world

Where is my heart
Where is my mind’s eye
Shall I look to you again for love
Or shall I live and die in the shadow of your emptiness
Dare I step into content
Just to be bitten once more

Who are you
Is it true you are like Jesus
Then why do I see you as a beast
For He was not
Why do I envision you in a place
Where you are far from me
And care nothing
But enough to hate me
For calling on you

If you are one with Him
Then must I hate Him, too
I am foolish for trusting you
Foolish for not trusting you
For your love is shown in health
Not sickness
Your love is shown in wealth
Not poverty
Your love is shown in justice
Not injustices we suffer

I take my heart
And I place it on the table
And we shall wait and see
If you squeeze the life out of it
With your commands
And then forsake it
Or if you take it
And put it back into my body
To pump life back into my soul