Trust

Whom shall I trust
My own hormones and lust
or my rage and my hate
that await at Hell’s gate.
My past and my fist
that I’ve raised at my Lord
or the blood that is dripping
from my thirsty sword.

Whom shall I trust
when my enemies win
and my body and soul
thrown into a tailspin.
When my spirit is dead
and my mind is just shattered
do I look for my bread
In all that is scattered.

Are my thoughts and my sight
so narrow to see
that an end to my fight
could possibly be?
Present pain and disgust
speak too loudly to me
that I fail to trust
His Majesty

Darkness alone
is all I have earned.
My soul dethroned
for in all I have yearned.
I trusted You not
God of all earth,
though ‘twas even by You
that I was birthed

For somehow I saw Jesus
as different than You
God of humanity
dare i come unglued.
judging all that is wrong
on your middle name,
although Jesus and You
are one in the same

Whom can I trust
from dawn until dusk
and all through the fright
in the nightmares i must.
for i see You as mighty
in my unending sin
a castaway
reconciled by kin

Trust You
or trust me
these two choices I’ve got
No other.
Trust You,
or not

For thine eyes have seen
injustices mourned,
and your Son lights the way
walks on water in storms.
and seeing into all hearts
who’ve been wounded by wrong,
with all time in your hand,
given us a new song

so i choose
without feeling and thought be the rule
choose to trust you, my God
through hardship and duel.

and where I fail to feel safe
in your arms from mine own
even there, Lord, i kneel
at the foot of your throne