Dead End Crash

When you like what fucks you up
when your searching has run dry
when there’s way too much buildup
and there’s no reason to try
it’s a dead end crash
life’s trash

got to rip out your own veins
want to blow out your own brains
cuz there’s aint no rhyme to live
aint noone to hear your give
it’s a dead end crash
death’s backlash

can’t even turn the fuckin’ toaster on
and no one’s dancin’ to the song
you buy the drink you leave behind
cuz all the vibes around are blind
it’s a dead end crash
don’t matter if you got the cash

lookin’ for love is all you think
but everywhere you look just stinks
cuz when you’re gay all else is straight
and when you’re straight
you’re in checkmate
it’s a dead end crash
all you want is bashed

what can you find to replace no date
just go online and masturbate
look towards God to heal your soul
though even there is no console
it’s a dead end crash
all hope is ash

when edgar allen poe is what cheers you up
and all is dead just like king tut
where do you go to get release
when all your blood says there’s no peace
in your dead end crash
same game rehashed

one more night of hangin’ on
with heavy gloom and no belong
and maybe luck will play your song
can’t be strong
it just prolongs
the dead end crash
teeth gnash, wrist slash

play me a tune that saves my soul
cuz my spirit’s in a deep black hole
oh how i need rescuin’
when is my time for a blessin’
in my dead end crash
please end my life in a flash

and all this in the name of love
where’s the One who said He left His dove
cuz now only nachos fill my heart
there’s no soul around to start
stuck in my ongoing crash
no words to end in a happy splash
give me a jalapeno to cheer my mind
just to last a little more time
and some sour cream to distract me
from all the gloom inside of me

thank God the phone just rang
for one last reason to stay and hang
some light to see what’s ’round the corner
cuz the gas for faith is just all anger
wastin’ all my time
lookin’ for my chime

where’s the happy ending to this poem
the freedom from the No Love Phantom

could it be beyond my guts
from all those feelings that drive me nuts
when i crave a lobotomy
to fade the yearn inside of me
is the pit i wallow in
for love withheld from my own sin
then take me now my precious lord
with your own hand or your own sword
i trust in you to end my life
and all of this internal strife
dead end crash
dead end crash

but at least in You, my Lord, i seek
my own death when life is bleek
and for that my end is paradise
and we don’t have to say that twice

is this what sleep is for
then all i need is more
more dopamine
while all’s unseen
suspension of my own living being

is this what the sun is for
then all i need is more
more dopamine
with vitamin D
to win this lonely war

is this what exercise is for
then all i need is more
to help me reach my star
when all failed me at the bar

when i can’t hold onto the rope
cuz i can’t see it through the smoke
no, i won’t reach for my own gun
i’ll just go out for a run
or take a nap under the sun
cuz that’s the way the body copes
to hit reset and restart hope

and i don’t feel like this today
cuz all of that was yesterday
so see how sleep is God’s good hand
to help us when we can’t withstand

and to think i’m not even alone
cuz i’ve got children of my own
and a big family that loves me
and millions of men who’d love to get frisky
so call and visit the elderly
and all else who have nobody
and remember the remedy
Yes, don’t forget the 1-2-3